If you are a mom, chances are that you have uttered the phrase, “Because I said so” in response to your children asking why they have to do something you’ve told them to do.
Turn off the TV.
Why?
Because I said so.
Get off your screens.
Why?
Because I said so.
Clean your room.
Why?
Because I said so.
Brush your teeth.
Why?
Because I said so.
When I get the question, why, the tasks are usually seemingly simple, not always what my children would pick if given their personal choice of how to spend their time, and generally for a greater good—their own good or the good of our family.
I recently wrote a book about the Rosary and when I share with people that I pray the Rosary generally, at least daily, if not multiple times within a day, I have been surprised at some of the responses from some of my devoted Catholic friends. Many have shared they just can’t fit it in, others that they don’t get a lot out of it—the monotony causes them to lose focus, and still others just never liked it.
I have been struggling with how to encourage people when these responses come up. I feel my “Well, maybe start with a decade” doesn’t really address what the real struggle is. The real struggle is they are thinking in their head, Why pray the Rosary if I don’t like it, if I lose focus, if I have other priorities. I don’t think they are intentionally asking this question, but at the heart of their responses is the question why—why bother—why when it seems lacking—why when I have a million other things to do—why when it takes at least 20-30 minutes—why pray the Rosary?
Today, I came up with the best answer: Because Mom said so!
Right?
Let’s be honest, when I tell my kids to clean their room or brush their teeth, they might be doing the bare minimum, making it look like they’ve accomplished what I asked, but maybe a little half-heartedly. The bottom line is eventually they will begin to care on their own and the habits I am telling them to do will become things they will do on their own and do well (eventually).
Mama Mary has told us time and time again, “Pray the Rosary.” Over and over she has said it, she does not seem to tire of saying it: Pray the Rosary.
Pray the Rosary because your mom told you to. If that’s not enough, pray it because Jesus’s Mom (same person as your mom) told you to. If that’s not enough, stop asking, “Why?” And start asking “How?”
I read a beautiful post from @agracefulcatholic (blog: GracefulCatholic.com) where she says Satan asks “Why?” and Mary asks “How?”
If you are struggling with praying the Rosary, ask Mary, “How should I pray the Rosary?” or ask, “How can I break free of this feeling of monotony when I pray the Rosary?” or ask, “How will praying the Rosary change my day?” or ask, “How will praying the Rosary change me?”
I don’t know how Mary will answer you, but here are three strategies I found helped me be more convicted in saying the Rosary–surrendering my will to do what Mom wants.
- Start with one decade and the related scripture for one mystery. Spend some time in scripture with that one mystery. If there are multiple Gospels that include the mystery—read all of the accounts and compare what is different and the same. Examine how that makes you feel. Place yourself there alongside Jesus, Mary, the Apostles, and others. This emphasizes the scripture rather than the repetitive prayers which people find tiresome. Take the scripture and your feelings about it to prayer as you say the decade.
- Know the fruits of each mystery. Yes, there are fruits tied to each mystery. Is there a place where you are struggling? Maybe choose those mysteries to pray and see how it bears fruit in your life. Focusing on not only the mystery but how to connect it to your life can help you be more intentional in prayer especially one that feels repetitive.
- Keep rosaries everywhere. I have one in my pouch bag, one in my car, one in the top drawer of my nightstand, one in the pocket of my robe, one in my tote bag. I sometimes find them in pockets of coats or cardigans. Rosaries don’t need to be fancy. The one in my zipper pouch that I use at Church is one of the plastic glow-in-the-dark Rosaries—probably worth fifty cents. The point is if your morning is too hectic to sit down and pray a Rosary. Have one handy so that in moments where you have 5-10-20-30 minutes, you can say a decade or a whole Rosary or a second Rosary. (And when in a pinch, there is a reason we have ten fingers.)
Whatever your prayer intentions are, know that in the end YOU will be changed by this habit. While I can’t say exactly how you will be changed, Mom knows best, and she has this way of helping us make breakthroughs and form virtue in a way we would not achieve as quick or as subtly without saying a daily Rosary. At the end of the day, when you take pieces of Jesus’ life, ask for that mystery to bear fruit in your life, and ask Mary to intercede for you, it is impossible to remain unchanged.
Your Mom is telling you to pray the Rosary for your own good and the good of the world, not for her sake. It’s time to listen to her, to stop asking “Why?” and to start asking “How?” The habit of the Rosary will change your life. Trust me…Mom knows best.
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