We have a dog, Ryman. And much to the dismay of all my dog-loving friends, this dog has not grown on me in the way that “I could not imagine life without him” (many swore I would feel this way). I never wanted him, my kids did, but as I predicted, I’ve become his primary caretaker. I feed him, walk him, take him to the vet, give him medicine, get him groomed and all the things. In exchange he follows me around incessantly wanting to be close and cuddled as often as possible. I often wonder aloud, how is it that I have become the primary caretaker for something I never asked for? This got me thinking of Mary and how I could really use some lessons in taking on more work than I bargained for, graciously and generously like she does.
When Mary agreed to be the Mother of Jesus, I am guessing she had Jesus on her mind and not a whole world of sinful children she would inherit after His death. I can’t imagine how exhausting it is caring for us—tending to our worries and anxieties, tending to our need to be fed both physically and spiritually, tending to our illnesses and wounds whether of the heart and soul or of the body, tending to our need to feel loved and seen, tending to everything in our lives.
Have you ever noticed that when Jesus gives us His Mother from the cross, she does not ask “How can this be?” like she did at the Annunciation or “Why have you done this to me?” like she did at finding Him in the Temple. She is silent. She realizes what Jesus has died for and why we need a mother, a mother who knows Him and what He died for, a mother who will do anything to keep us spiritually healthy, fed, and nurtured in such a way that we can thrive in this life and grow into who God created us to be, so that we can be united with Him and her in eternity.
She realizes that God would not die for those He does not love immensely and therefore she is willing to love us like He does, to be the mother He knows we need: a mother who understands, who walks with us, who is going to pay attention to our needs when those around us aren’t paying attention, who will get us to Church, who will be aware of our needs before we even need it, who is going to ask and intercede for whatever we need to grow closer to Her Son, and whose mission is to get us to heaven.
She does not utter one question about how or why she is to behold a son or daughter that would not be Jesus. In a way when Jesus died on the cross, she died with Him, knowing her life had been altered by His birth, but that it was even more significantly altered by His death, taking into her heart the people Her Son loved to the point of death, the very people who convicted Him to death.
It is as if she already knew it would be necessary, after Jesus left earth, for her to be present at Pentecost, again silent, but the mother present for the birth of the Church. She first gave birth to Him, and now she was witnessing the birth of the Church He left behind. Just as she nurtured Him as a baby, child, teen and young adult; he wanted her present for the Church in its baby stages, maturing with a mother who could remind them of Whose they were and who they were created to be.
Today, we are still blessed with her generosity, appearing to those chosen, reminding us of the repentance and prayers needed for this world. Her work as a mother is never done until we are all in heaven with Jesus, and so she returns through centuries, reminding us of all Jesus sacrificed for us, reminding us that she is still interceding for the generations of children her Son died for, reminding us that even though she never asked for a world full of sinful children, she will willingly and unceasingly be the mother Jesus knew we would need 2000+ years after His death.
In this case, we should follow Ryman’s loyal example of returning my care for him with love and affection. We should follow Mary around incessantly, waiting for the next graces she will dole out to us, desiring to return the love she shows us as Mother. Pray the Rosary. Thank her for her intercession and mediating graces that you need from Jesus. Tell others about her and how wonderful she is. Thank Jesus for generously giving us a mother who loves us like He did and who never ceases in praying for us. She is doing more for us than we can ever know, and for that, I am ever grateful.
When Jesus saw his mother* and the disciple there whom he loved, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son.” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his home. John 19:26-27 NAB
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