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I have written a book about marriage through the lens of praying the Rosary and obeying the will of God (which I am working on editing and refining and hope to have in your hands in the somewhat near future). The book has me thinking so much about marriage, not only my own, but other marriages I have watched weather various life circumstances, and in facing the most unexpected circumstances, have watched heroic and simple virtue unfold.
The book brought me back to the very beginnings of my relationship with my husband, Joe, and through all the highs and lows to where we are today. It’s only been (almost) 17 years and knowing what God has done in those 17 years, I cannot even imagine what He can do in 70 years.
Whether it’s 17 years or 70 years, all marriages find their roots in one simple consent: “I do.” Such a simple phrase that consents to an infinite amount of complex depths and heights.
In case, you don’t know what a married couple is saying “I do” to in the Sacrament of Marriage—they are being asked if they take their spouse in/for: sickness, health, better, worse, richer, poorer…those words conjure up a sort of good versus bad image with each pairing of words, but the truth is all of these “states of life” can bring with it highs and lows in your marriage.
You or your spouse, in sickness, might find a richness in friendship and family. You or your spouse might find yourself in sickness when trying to maintain a lifestyle with a richer income. You or your spouse might find yourself in peak health but it results in poorer choices in spending time with your family. You or your spouse might find yourself in a poorer circumstances because of job loss, but you find yourself in better circumstance due to the support of others.
Likewise, marriage comes with other people from parents to children—you will carry these people too into these vows: a parents’ declining health, four children who simultaneously have the stomach bug; difficult personalities in parents and children which greatly impact marital dynamics; parental expectations or children’s expectations which influence how rich or poor you or your spouse might be feeling.
All of these things can co-exist in the many facets of married life. You will have good times, where you feel worry free, and you will have hard times, where it feels you will never level out. This is why “I do” is a mustard seed. We don’t really know what is going to come our way in marriage, but it’s a Sacrament for a reason. We needs God’s grace for it to grow and thrive. Without Him, the demons, the death, the desert remain.
“I do” tells God, I believe in this Covenant we’ve made. “I do” tells God, I believe in Your power to strengthen us whether sick, healthy, better, worse, rich, or poor. “I do” tells God I am taking this person because I believe we can accomplish Your will together through sickness, health, better, worse, rich or poor. “I do” tells God I trust You and invites him into the center of that consent.
“I [with God] do” is infused with courage and confidence, strength and might – “God is indeed my salvation; I am confident and unafraid. For the Lord is my strength and my might, and he has been my salvation.” Isaiah 12:2
Before God, “I do” enables you to move mountains and withstand the impossible in your marriage by His grace. His glory and greatness will only expand when you are placing Him in the center of that “I do.” I have experienced it myself in sickness and health, for better or for worse, in richer and in poor, but you’ll have to wait for the book to get the long story on that.
He said to them, “…Amen, I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20 USCCB NAB
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