Soul crushing brings to mind the worst thing that has ever happened to me or when things turn out completely opposite of how you expect them to. It makes you think of draining the life out of you, loss of hope, despair…Soul crushing came to mind after a recent exchange with one of my aunts. I had shared that I recently took my kids to the Civil Rights Museum in Birmingham, AL. It was a jarring and eye-opening experience for the kids to see all that had unfolded in the most heated times surrounding Civil Rights. To frame it best, my 9-year-old daughter asked: “Why would anyone do these things?” I simply said, “I don’t know. I don’t know.” In thinking more about it, I was pretty sure it was because white people did not view black people as human. Whites thought they had THE authority. It’s the only reasoning I could come up with.
My aunt as a follow up shared she was going to the women’s march and how she can’t believe we are back to defending reproductive rights. Sigh…there it was. I am a very hard person to pin down politically. My views are wide-ranging and I can’t really find a place in any political party because of that…I am for immigration; I am for stricter gun laws; I am against disbanning police forces; I am for our military; I am against racism…it’s almost humorous as I type this, that these beliefs do not exist within one political party. It’s actually quite insane. However, there is one view of mine that pins me as a Republican regardless of anything else I believe and that view is being pro-life.
After my aunt had texted me about the women’s march, I knew because I was teaching my kids about civil rights, she thought I would be in the same boat as her for the pro-choice movement (which is really more a pro-abortion movement with very little legislation in support of mothers who want to keep their babies, but I digress). I sat for a bit trying to figure out how to respond. Just a thumbs up “like” to acknowledge I received her message but not necessarily supporting it? Should I tell her where I stand? I decided to tell her. I said I’m actually in the pro-life camp on this one because I believe that at the moment of conception—there are three parties involved, a man, a woman, and God…aka the sperm, the egg and the soul. These infuse into one human person. I told her I don’t think we have authority to extinguish the light of a soul.
I’ve always wondered if people know what people mean when pro-lifers talk about human dignity. I think often it’s confined to the idea we are made in the image and likeness of God, but for me, and I think this is true of the Church, the dignity comes from God and is directly linked to our soul. Sure, being made in the image and likeness of God is important, but it’s specifically the existence of the soul that makes that so.
It’s why we believe that a baby should be born no matter it’s health challenges. It’s why we do not believe in the death penalty. It’s why we do not believe in euthanizing someone. There is an authority above us who can take the life out of a person, and that happens when the soul is taken to eternity for judgement—and goes to hell, purgatory or heaven.
So my problem with the idea of reproductive rights is it suggests that the “being” (human) inside a mother has no soul or that we have authority over whether a soul lives or dies. Women are fighting for the right to crush a soul. Now someone might say well, the baby only get its soul once it is born. If that was the case, the Catholic Church would not have funerals for babies who have been miscarried because it would just be skin, cells or whatever that could be discarded. Someone else might say God only gives a soul to a baby that is wanted. If this was true, then we would view suicide as an acceptable response to someone who feels discarded by society—the addict, the impoverished, orphans…and on and on.
The truth is we don’t have authority to crush a soul and when we do try to put ourselves in that authority, the effects are detrimental. It shouldn’t be done to a baby, it shouldn’t be done to a person of a different race than you, it shouldn’t be done to a criminal, it shouldn’t be done to the alcoholic or drug addict, it shouldn’t be done to an immigrant, it shouldn’t be done to someone who thinks differently than you, it shouldn’t be done to anyone. Because everyone has a soul and your actions and your words can have profound impact upon a person’s soul, upon how they see their own worth, upon their ability to live with dignity, upon their impact in this world. But nothing in my mind is more soul crushing than abortion. It literally takes a brand new soul God placed on earth and a human says, “No. You have no place here. You are not loved. You are not wanted.” It says my job, my lifestyle, my problems are more important to deal with than you taking one breath on this earth.
It’s possible that person does not believe it can offer that baby love. Maybe they believe that baby will have a life not worth living because they will not be loved, but I believe every baby is loved by God. He will love the baby. Might that baby become an addict? Yes. Might that baby become a murderer? Yes. Might that baby become a doctor? Yes. Might that baby become a president? Yes. Might that baby change the world? No. That baby will change the world. There is no might. Every life influences every life around it for better or for worse. As Christians, we believe God is working it out for the good. I believe and have experienced personally in death, addiction, unhealthy family dynamics, all kinds of messed up situations, I have experienced God’s astounding love. Heck, I was an unplanned pregnancy. I still remember asking my mom about how I was born premature because I counted the months between my parents’ wedding and my birthday. She was furious that I had figured it out. Turned out I wasn’t premature, my parents had gotten pregnant and decided to get married. They had not been dating very long. They are currently separated. But, man, am I glad they went ahead with having me.
I have a few dear people in my life that have had abortions, and I feel I must address directly to them, encouragement, as I feel what I am saying here might churn up guilt I know you already carry. You, who felt you had no choice. You, who had people in your life who demanded that abortion or else. God would never let your baby’s soul feel anything but the love you carried for him or her. That baby’s soul would not feel crushed in the same way, it would feel the tether of the mother’s love and might even as a soul understand how your soul was being crushed in that very moment, how much pain and hurt you still carry.
I feel I must also address the question of a baby conceived in rape, whether incest, family, friend or stranger. I honestly do not know the answer to this…why God would give a soul to the egg conceived in the most vile of circumstances. But I do trust God, that whatever He thinks can come out of placing that soul on earth, He knows what He is doing with that. Rape would be what I would consider a soul crushing experience. I know people who were raped but none who conceived that way. I know how it shook them to their very core, how they perceived themselves as dirty or unlovable, the fear they experienced, the trauma. Can a baby restore hope? Restore how they feel about themselves? Bring a new balance to life? Can a baby show them God’s love? I don’t know. I simply can’t answer this one, and it’s a very valid question to ask. To me, it’s the equivalent of asking God why a child has to die? An answer I won’t have until I see God face-to-face.
At the end of the day, I still hold to the fact that abortion is soul crushing—literally, not figuratively– and if you are arguing for reproductive rights, you would think you are arguing FOR rights that are designed to give life, to give a human body to a soul that God wants here on earth, but instead somehow, we’ve morphed reproductive rights into the right to end life. It simply doesn’t make sense to me. But at least everyone knows where I definitely stand now. I am against soul crushing on all accounts. The question is: are you?
P.S. My husband asked me if I had talked with my aunt since this exchange, and so I thought worth noting here, that yes, we exchanged views. Disagreed but respectfully, and still have a wonderful relationship where we share funny memes and all sorts of other news unrelated to this topic. You can be civil to people you disagree with…it’s a good thing and more persuasive for your point.
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